Tick Tock…

The Clock is ticking….

I am a newlywed Navy Wife going through my first deployment ever.

I’m not ready & I’m in denial (I think)

Deployment is getting closer and closer, inspections are much more frequent and I see nothing of Josh at all.

Josh and I have been married for almost 5 months now. Tomorrow is our 1 year anniversary, and he will be gone to duty. I miss him so much. He is my best friend, my everything. He makes me so happy and makes everything so much more bearable. He is my go-to person when things go wrong, my rock, just so much for me. 

I should be upset and moping and maybe it’s because it isn’t soon enough, but all I can think of is moving our apartment, making sure we are settled, that the home & pets are taken care of, and trying to make sure that I can take care of everything before he leaves. I haven’t cried yet. It hasn’t hit me fully yet. I am not sure.

How do you deal with time away (7 months for us) from the person who gets your through each day?

Is it bad that I am not upset yet?

Maybe it will hit me in the coming months. Will I notice a month ahead of time, a week? How long until it hits me, if it does? How do you cope with that?

The Clock is Ticking…

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I’m Bringing SEXY BACK!

I think one of the most rewarding things about exercising and losing weight is that feeling of self-confidence growing inside you again. Since losing, just 5lbs, I feel SO confident and sexy. My clothes are fitting better, I don’t have to do the wiggle & jump & shimmy to get pants on or suck in my waist to make the shirt fall the way it’s supposed to. My posture is being straightened out so I am standing taller. I am becoming “An Athlete”– something I thought I would never become! Who knew that taking a step to better your health also would better your emotional health. When I get upset or stressed, all I think about is swimming or running it off. I am not Kisha Wilson (YET) but I will get there, & I have the confidence in myself to get there now. I weigh in & measure once a month, & I think that is all I or anyone should do because it allows you to focus on how your BODY FEELS, not weighs or measures. Joining MFP & Fitocracy & running is one of the best decisions I have ever made. 

~Life & Love~

Turkey Loaf Muffins & Zucchini Tots

Ok, before you completely discount this recipe, I have never had zucchini before and I love it! So if you know you don’t like zucchini, please move on! 

This dinner is great for a dinner with two, small, healthy, lo-cal, lo-carb, and fun to make. Especially for a sweet date!

TURKEY LOAF MUFFINS

Ingredients

Ground Turkey (93/7) 1 container (1.3 lbs)

I C grated zucchini

2Tbsp chopped onion

1/2 C breadcrumbs

1 egg

1 tsp Kosher Salt

Preperation

1) Preheat oven to 350°

2) Line Muffin Tin with FOIL liners

3) In a large bowl, mix turkey, zucchini, onion, breadcrumbs, egg and salt

4) Put the meatloaf mixture onto the muffin tins to the top rounding off the top just life a cooked muffin

5) Cook for 20-25 mins or until the food is cooked all the way through

Servings: 6 Muffins

ZUCCHINI TOTS

Ingredients

1 C Grated Zucchini

4 Tbsp Grated Parmesan Cheese

1 C Chopped onion

1 Egg

1/4C breadcrumbs

1/4 tsp Kosher Salt

Preparation

1) Preheat over to 400

2) Mix everything together

3) Line baking pan with aluminum foil and spray with non-stick spray

4) Make 12 Cubes, using your fingers to form the tots

5)Bake in the oven for 20 mins or until it’s a crispy brown on the outside

Servings: 12 tots

Dinner for Two:

On a nice plate, put 1 Turkey Muffins & 6 Tots on to a plate. Add Salt or seasonings to taste

1 Turkey Muffin: 186 Cal, 7g Carb, 8g Fat, 20g Protein
6 Tots: 158 Cal, 19g Carb, 7g Fat, 10g Protein

(If you were like me and did NOT use the non-stick spray, it will stick to the aluminum foil.)

If you haven’t devoured everything all at once, you might still have Turkey Muffins leftover. They keep really well and are great for lunch!

Hope you like it as much as I did!

Beauty Rant

With this recent Kate Upton madness going on, the idea of beauty is being tossed around and there is a lot of body-shaming. With the Plus Size models versus Fashion models, the “War on Obesity”, food reform, etc…It’s hard to find any positive light on this. It DRIVES ME NUTS!! What is important is not your looks, but your health. Mental & Physical. The Plus-Size side of the story is that we want to acknowledge that big CAN be beautiful. You can be big but pretty, that skinny/thin/smaller isn’t the ONLY kind of pretty. Where as the skinny/thin/smaller sizes are saying that you are unhealthy and that we need to get back to basics. But there is so much body bashing going on.

On the Skinny Gossip’s most recent blog post “Fat Pride Burns My Hide” which trashes the Plus Model Magazine pictures, a Skinny Gossip follower Bella responded this to the post, “these pictures are so gross, who would be in their right mind and pose for pictures like that?! Well maybe she wasn’t in the right mind, all that food went to her head!”. How terrible to say about another human being! Or the cliche saying from many plus size people that says Fashion Models are just anorexic. Again, how hateful. We dream of emotional equality for all races, religious beliefs, political opinions, and body types but are unwilling to give the same respect.

Now I am not condoning Anorexia Nervosa or being overweight, but I am saying that the bashing HAS to stop. Progress can not be made while there are still thoughts like that going on. The Fashion Model Supporters have to accept that Plus size modeling is not advocating for women to be “lazy, eat alot, and stay overweight” but to be happy and love yourself for who you are. The Plus Size Modeling world needs to see that the Fashion World is just looking for a generalized “healthy” look.

As for beauty, I think Kate Upton is beautiful. I think Crystal Renn is beautiful, I think Eliana Ramos is beautiful, I think Adele is beautiful, I think Robyn Lawley is beautiful, Randi Graves is beautiful. I think the most beautiful thing is a person who loves themself. My weight loss journey isn’t to look like a Fashion Model or

I challenge all the readers to not generalize beauty as “FAT” or “SKINNY”. You don’t have to like other people’s body, but you can keep that to yourself and instad spread love and acceptance. Sometimes, people’s journey, whether it’s to lose/gain/maintain weight or to build their self esteem up, takes time and love & appreciation. It REALLY is “what’s on the inside counts”.

~Life & Love~

My Weight Loss Journey

My whole life I’ve been the big girl, fluffy, lots of “baby weight”, whatever you want to call it. My whole family, other than my father and little sister, are “fluffy” either due to Diabetes, Hypothyroidism, or just general lack of care for their own body. I always thought I was like them and had Hypothyroidism or that it was my birth control that caused my terrible weight. Two months ago, I got tired of NOT knowing why I was gaining weight and went to my doctor. I do NOT have hypothyroidism. While this is GREAT, it means that my weight is my fault and no one else to blame. I asked her what to do, I want to be & look healthy.

So she recommended me to start running, (using Couch 2 5K-C25K) MyFitnessPal.com (MFP), and going lo-carb. I have been using MFP RELIGIOUSLY, and well honestly, I have been on week 1 of C25K for a while now. I am re-learning how to run, but I try. 

But since then I have felt such a sense of accomplishment. I swim for at least 30 mins, 4-5 times a week, my body is toning up, I get sick when I carb load (PIZZA is my enemy) and I mentally feel better. MFP regulates my calorie intake for me, or well I use it for that as well as documenting my exercise, and I use Fitocracy.com to log exercise too. It’s kind of fun because, me being a neo-nerd, it allows me to level up every time I work out as well as complete challenges & quests.

I haven’t weighed in yet, kind of scared to. As of June 4, 2012 I weighed 185lbs and am 5’4″. My goal is to get to 125, depending on how it looks on me. I want a body fat % to be between 18-20. But I know I CAN & WILL get there, with time & effort.

I know a lot of people struggle everyday with how they feel about themselves. They constantly say “It’s too hard”, “I am not strong enough”, “I am embarrassed to be in public”, “I’ve been this way my whole life-I can’t change”. I really feel like they never will with that attitude. there will come a point, like for myself, when you realize that you can either spend the rest of your life hating yourself & being jealous of those people who succeed, hating the dressing room being scared to rip clothes, hating beach weather, etc…or you could take that one step to change your life. It’s hard, sometimes you will want to give up (I know I do everyday) but making just a small effort can change your life and your happiness. Every little thing you do extra, whether it be walking the road for 15 mins, or swimming harder, or going up & down the stairs a few more times, will all add up & help you on your way! I believe in myself and in you.

~Life & Love~

 

R.I.P.

I just found out I lost a dear friend today. He was my Manager for my old job, The Kangaroo, but he was more than that too. He was like a big bother. Granted I haven’t seen him in a few months, but that is how it goes with family sometimes. I know that if I needed him, he would be there for me. I only wish I was there for him more.

 He is the kind of guy who cares more for his team and family and friends than himself. I can’t tell you how many times he has stressed himself sick trying to take care of everyone. Whether it’s work, friends, or family. He had a beautiful daughter and a wonderful set of friends. Our Kangaroo family was seamless, crazy most of the time, but wonderful. He was never much of a boss to me but a friend, a big brother. He was always there for me in ways that a big brother was. I was his assistant manager, but he always wanted more for me. I can’t tell you all the countless times we have just talked or BS’d at work trying to get through the day. There are a couple times that stick out most to me.

 He was hilariously funny. He told the weirdest jokes and stories that would sometimes leave you with your jaw on the floor and shivering in disgust. I didn’t care about working with him or working hard because he was such a fun person to be with. It never felt like work, just hanging out with a friend and making money! He loved to laugh, LOVED IT! We would listen to the radio and dance during work, or even one time, he chased me around the store with a compressed air can just to freeze burn my skin. We would watch videos at work (Happy Tree Friends), dance at work, debates on who is the better music artist, or just be silly. He was a fun person to be around. He taught me to make the most out of any situation and make it fun. Its amazing how things change with a radio and an fun friend.

 As much as I loved my job at the Kangaroo, he always wanted me to succeed in whatever I chose to do. After being at the Roo for nearly 2 years, I was looking for a newer job. So instead of hoarding me to himself and telling me not to do it, he gave me interview tips, told me job sites to check out, and recommended jobs he had heard of from others. He always pushed for me to be better than what I was, even if it meant losing my employment. Unlike many other bosses, he treated me like a human being, like a person. He always taught me that the key to good management is to remember that “I am a human first, a person, then a manager”. He always took my life into account, and treated me with the same courtesy that any person would want. He was so generous that way, so kind. I will always remember that about him.

 There were alot of times that I have struggled in life. He was there for alot of it. He had always believed in me & knew that I was meant for more. He always cared for me as a person and encouraged me to stand up for myself and what I believe in. He made me laugh & enjoy even the crappiest parts of life. he was a good man and will be incredibly missed. I think that thought despite the circumstances of him leaving us, and how devastating it is that such an incredible man and father has gone, sadness isn’t how I should remember him. I will remember all the fun times that we had, the stories he told me of his daughter and loved ones, and the lessons he taught me. I will never forget him.